ok, so let me preface this entry with this; being a new mom is the absolute best. Ive had, and continue to have, the best time of my life. Its simultaneously exhilarating, amazing and perfect but when the moments of exhaustion set in, its terrifying, I really don’t know if I’m going to make it… today was one of those days! My little angel is teething and has decided naps are not necessary, so she goes 10-15 hour stretches of not sleeping, needless to say, we are running on empty.
So today, being Valentines, I had all these ideas of grandeur… plans for our first Valentines as a married couple and with our baby. No-thing-went-as-planned… fussy baby, loads of work, no time to think let alone attempt romance. So I decided that since a gourmet romantic candle-lit dinner with my love was absolutely out of the picture, I would “treat” myself (perhaps feeling a bit sorry for myself) to my favorite snack for dinner and make a big pot of organic heirloom popcorn with loads of ghee and sea salt. I looked forward to it all day. I quickly threw it together while trying to keep the baby happy and before I knew it, I was inhaling, devouring, shoving fistfuls of popcorn in my mouth as I juggled 17 other things… I caught myself before too much damage had been done. Stopped mid-shovel, picked up the bowl, turned around and dumped it in the trash. I know its wasteful but it was the only way to save myself!
Finally my little angel is sleeping and I have time to reflect on what that episode was all about. For starters, why did I see eating a nutritionally void dinner a way to reward myself? Secondly, if I did decide to indulge (which is totally great once in a while,) why wasn’t I at least sitting and enjoying it rather than mindlessly shoveling? Instead of feeling sorry for myself, why didn’t I ask my husband for a few moments of time to just sit, chat and connect? I can think of a thousand other things that would have “fed” my soul in that moment, but the moment of weakness let an old habit creep in. If I had fed myself with a loving connection that was readily available to me, would I have still gone for the junk? I doubt it!
What Im making a point of is, it happens to all of us! This is what I teach people to be conscious of and here I was committing the act Ive worked so many years at stopping! In moments of weakness, fatigue, distraction we make decisions that may not be the best thing for us. It would have taken me no time at all to throw together some veggies and make a nice warm healthy grounding dinner but instead I ate the #1 food that makes me feel less grounded, screws with my stomach, is completely lacking in anything I needed and worst of all, not even enjoying it!
So whats the solution? How do I prevent myself from going down this path again? Maybe there isn’t a solution, we all get off path once in awhile, the trick to moving forward is to not beat ourself up after, to learn from the mistake and empower ourself to make better choices in the future. Reflection and consistent mindfulness may bring me closer to not going down that path again.
Mindful eating can be such a challenge with a busy life but it is what gives us the energy to keep excelling. Holistic Health Counseling is an opportunity to cultivate that mindful awareness in how we “feed” ourself. It allows one to take time out of a busy schedule and draw focus on the self so mistakes like I made tonight don’t keep occurring. It is a way to break the cycle. If you feel you would benefit from taking an hour out of your busy week to talk about yourself and the choices you make, please email me at susanduprey@me.com so we can set up your free initial health consultation. Everyone deserves an opportunity to be heard, this is a great way to connect with yourself on a reflective level so you may achieve what you know is possible! Its time to feel great! Now, please pass the popcorn 🙂
sattvatarian 